1. Sarah Palin wins debate using knowledge from Snapple Cap Facts.

2. Bill Clinton endorses Obama.

3. In an effort to appear younger and more hip, John McCain releases a sex ”talkie.”

4. Oak leaves suspend color-turning campaign until financial crisis is resolved. Urge maple leaves to do the same.

5. Sarah Palin turns out to have an embarrassing Ivy League-educated, immensely qualified sibling.

6. Lindsay Lohan goes back to dudes.

7. Osama bin Laden walks into Wasilla, Alaska police station to turn self in. Says, ”I would have been here sooner if you had a decent bridge.”

8. October admits it’s actually January. Election starts all over again.

Well, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert just made it funny:

The Two Most Wonderful Men In America – well, after Barack Obama, Joe Biden and my ex – are interviewed in Entertainment Weekly magazine this week. And it makes for fascinating reading, chiefly because it’s very rare to hear Stephen Colbert speaking out of character. As it were.

The interview was mainly about the election – and as we’re focused on Mr O on this here blog, here’s what the two of them said about him:

EW: The easy and prevalent comedic take on John McCain has been that he’s old. Has one emerged on Obama yet?
STEPHEN COLBERT: He’s a hope-ronaut. He’s in a rarefied level of hope where the rest of us have to take tanks up with us.

Is that really a comedic take? Seems more like a compliment.
JON STEWART: But it’s not, in the same way that the take on Al Gore was ”he’s too smart.” Even if you’re satirizing how wonderful they are, that hyperbole is setting them up for an expectation to fail, especially within the American political system now, where authenticity — and apparently mediocrity — are the manna that the populace feeds upon. To set somebody up as if they’re above us, and elitist…my God, you couldn’t do anything worse.

I also loved this from Stephen:

“One of the things I love about my character is I can make vast declarations and it doesn’t matter if I’m wrong. I love being wrong. So my character can tell you exactly what’s going to happen: The Democrats are going to change everything. We’re going to have gay parents marrying their own gay babies. Obama’s gonna be sworn in on a gay baby. The oath is gonna end ‘So help me, gay baby’.”

You can read the whole interview here. Highly recommended.